


Abandoned Stories Involving Portals

by beautybydaysi



Series: The Misadventures of Feather Pepper [1]
Category: One Piece, Pathfinder (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Accidental Voyeurism, Bar Room Brawl, Blow Job, Children of Mayhem (Pathfinder RPG), Crossover, Drunkenness, Feather Pepper-centric, Gnomes, Half-Elves, Halflings, I'm embarrassed, M/M, Misgendering, My First Smut, Not Canon Compliant, Original Character-centric, POV Alternating, POV Original Character, Post-Time Skip, Silly, Slight Adult Language, Smut, Swearing, Wordcount: 5.000-10.000, canon level swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-07 01:33:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20301241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautybydaysi/pseuds/beautybydaysi
Summary: A halfling druid named Feather Pepper gets pushed into a portal. When Feather stumbles out of the portal, he falls face first onto the deck of the Thousand Sunny.





	1. A Feather’s Paradise

‘Twas just an average day for Feather and his friends. For they were enjoying a wonderful time fishing in the local cave near the town of Cassomir. The five friends who call themselves the Children of Mayhem ponder hours earlier.

* * *

The Tavern in Cassomir

Nine o’ clock in the morning

At the tavern, they're sitting at a long rectangle table, the shortest members of the five are sitting on two large pillows. A tall man, wearing a beige tunic, sets down a tin can filled with the town’s finest mead on their table. Nobody knows why he drinks out of a tin can while in a tavern that has fancier cups. 

They recognize him, the man always gives them questionable quests for a silly amount of gold. It sometimes makes them wonder if the gold is worth almost losing their lives. Ansley smiles at them, “Hello Children of Mayhem, I need you to find a rare fish in the cave for me.”

Feather grins and exclaims, “A rare fish?!”

Helen, Spiffy, Valkor, and Nes shout it unison, “In the cave?!”

Feather realizes how absurd that does sound, he clears his throat, “Why in the world are we going into the cave for a rare fish?”

Ansley creepily smiles, “Well, the alchemist needs this rare fish for a potion. I hear it will make you lots of gooold.”

Valkor grins, “Maybe we can gamble with the alchemist and get even more gold.”

Feather frowns at the idea and decides to be the voice of reason,“Valkor, that is not a good idea. You haven’t won a single time.”

“What are you talking about? I won…” He scratches his head trying to remember the last time he won. “Oh whatever, I still want to gamble.”

Feather grins and blushes, “That’s fine Valkor. As long as you’re having fun and you’re not gambling OUR money.” He massages Jules’ head, she chirps.

Valkor raises an eyebrow, “Our money?”

Feather exchanges a glance with Nes, the look only tells him, ‘_Shush_.’ He looks at Valkor who is still raising an eyebrow and now stroking his long luscious white beard, Feather shakes his head and turns red as the tomatoes on the table, he sputters out, “N-Nothhhing. Nothing at all. The-the gang’s money. Nevermind. Uh, the rare fish.”

The five of them sigh, Feather shakes his head again and points at Ansley, “If you’re planning something, I’ll-I’ll…” he exhales, pondering what to say, all he can come up with is a pathetic threat, “I’ll get y-you.”

Ansley chuckles and hums, “Hmmm, very well then. Please go to the cave at dusk. The rare fish doesn't come out during the daylight.” He picks up his tin can and sips it, then leaves in the direction of the barmaid, she’s an unusual one. Who knew they’d let a 3’9” tall dwarf be a barmaid!

Feather gets up from his seat and calls to Ansley, “Wait, Ansley!” 

Ansley doesn't hear him and continues to walk to the barmaid. Feather calls for him again, “Ansley, wait!” Ansley turns around to see Feather, he frowns and wonders if his hearing has decreased over the years, “Yes, Feather?”

Feather walks up where he is standing, pulls out a chair to stand on it. He wobbles on the chair and steps off. He tries again, but only ends up holding onto Ansley’s shoe. Feather looks up, giving up on asserting dominance to the tall man and shouts, “You left without describing the fish! How are we supposed to find it when we don't know what it looks like?”

Ansley isn't flattered by a young halfling yelling at him about a fish, he ignores him and walks to the barmaid with Feather still holding onto his shoe. 

Suddenly, a drunk half-elf throws an empty glass bottle on what he thinks the floor is and it hits Feather in the head; knocking him unconscious. His friends get up from their seats and run to his aid. Jules flies and lands next to Feather, and sadly hoots, hoping to wake up her owner. Helen kicks the chair Feather didn’t push in on the way there, falls and needs to stay still for five minutes, “I’ll just stay here for a bit,” she hiccups, “Had one too many drinks of ‘ole mead.” 

Valkor laughs, “You only had twelve.”

Helen laughs as well, “Just let me lay here. I need a minute or two.” Valkor grins and sits down on the chair she kicked.

Nes feels an itch deep in her mind to become enraged by Feather’s circumstances, she shakes her head and the itch sighs in defeat. She returns to the task at hand, Feather is still on the ground. Nes kneels down and inspects Feather’s head, her vision starts to go blurry from the smell of blood. She looks at Spiffy who seems the least interested in this whole ordeal, “Hey, Spiffy. Come look at Feather’s head for me.”

Spiffy sighs, “Wish we had a bar fight, that would’ve been fun.” She looks at Feather’s head, “He sure did get a beating. What a pity. Valkor is usually the one getting knocked out.” 

Nes frowns, “Well, what should we do?” 

Helen rises from the floor and walks to the trio and Ansley, “Gosh, what happened to Feather?” 

Spiffy points at the half-elf who’s singing with a gnome, “The guy over there threw a bottle.” 

Helen frowns then smirks, “How about we give him a piece of our mind?”

The barmaid smirks at that and gives them her blessing, “Give ‘em hell, ladies. He’s my worst customer. Just avoid trashing my stools and the furniture.”

Nes smiles, “Thanks, uh..”

The barmaid smirks, “The name’s Jolene.”

“Oh, uh, Thanks, Jolene.” Nes pats her dress awkwardly and blushes. 

Helen grins, “Ooh, that sounds like a good name. It should go in a song. Let me sing an inspiring song for our fight.” She pulls a small guitar from her bag and tunes it. Once she knows it’s tuned, well as best as she can in these days, she begins strumming and sings:

_ Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene. _  
_ I'm begging of you please don't take my man. _  
_ Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene _  
_ Please don't take him just because you can. _  
_ Your beauty is beyond compare _  
_ With flaming locks of auburn hair _  
_ With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green _  
_ Your smile is like a breath of spring _  
_ Your voice is soft like summer rain _  
_ And I cannot compete with you _ _  
_Jolene.

Nes looks at the barmaid, Jolene does in fact have auburn hair, ivory skin and emerald green eyes._ Helen blows my mind again. _Nes thinks and blushes. 

Helen stops singing and grins, “How about we get started?”

Ansley looks down at Feather’s limp state and asks no one in particular, “Are you going to do anything about your friend?”

Jules overhears him and gives him two warning barks. Jolene casts a speak with animals spell for twenty minutes and talks to Jules, “I’ll take care of Feather.”

Jules hoots back, _ “Oh thank you, Jolene.” _

“Oh you know my name.” 

Jules chitters, _ “Well yeah, I heard a cat talk about the rats she has to kill for a dwarf named Jolene. You got any for me?” _

“Ooh, yes I do, but that’s not exactly the best thing to show people. Come on back later and you can have at it. So, how is my dear kitty?” 

_ “Uh, she said she was getting a little overweight due to the amount of rats you have.” _

“Don’t tell anybody about this please.”

_ “I will only tell Feather when he wakes up.” _

“Basically, your crew will know about it.”

_ “Yeah, pretty much.” _

Jolene clicks her tongue, “Tch.Typical.” She chuckles, no use in being upset with a worried owl. 

“Get going, they’re about to start the fight.” She turns her head to the commotion that is about to start. 

Nes grins at Jules, “Alright Jules, I think it would be a great idea to peck his eyes.” 

Jules screeches and soars into the sky. She swoops in and pecks the poor half-elf’s eyes. He seems to have become completely sober. He blindly flails his arms around him and grabs Jules. 

To others she is screeching, “Raaa raaa raaaaaa” but to Jolene she’s saying, “_ Let me go, you fool. Feather would be devastated if I died. He already gets upset when I go missing.” _

Nes gets out her crossbow with magical arrows. She looks at Jolene for approval to use it. Jolene nods and Nes prepares to use it. The itch in her head returns, but she pushes it off and aims for the half-elf’s foot. Instead of hitting the half-elf, it ricochets across the bar and hits Feather and bursts into flames.

The itch in Nes’s head returns with a vengeance and she can no longer contain the rage she’s feeling. Sen sets down her crossbow on a table and she walks over to Feather. She yanks a water bucket from the bar and drenches him with water. The fire is now distinguished, but he’s still unconscious. Jolene hops down from her step stool and quickly dries Feather. She thinks, _ Poor Feather is not having a good day. _

Helen decides to play it safe. She pulls out her flute and begins to play. She summons thirteen rats. The rats skitter scatter towards the half-elf holding a screeching great horned owl. They nibble on his toes, he screams and loosens his grip on Jules, but not enough to free her. 

Spiffy breaks a bottle on a table and decides not to hit the half-elf. Feather starts to stir and groans from the pain, he sits up dazed. 

Valkor readies his sword and slips on glass. Jolene shakes her head, _ Clumsy individuals. _

Jules breaks free from the grip of the half-elf and flies to Feather’s side, he smiles and she hoots. 

The half-elf throws his bottle at Valkor and it knocks him out. 

Feather yells, “Really dude! You gotta throw a bottle at an already down man?! Ah!” He groans in pain, his head is pounding. 

Sen smiles at Feather, “Glad to see you’re awake, kid.” Feather yells and folds his arms, “I’m not a kid! I'm an adult.” 

Sen picks up the water bucket and throws it at the half-elf. He falls off of his stool and groans, unconscious. The rats kill him with their nibbles and Helen stops playing the flute. The people in the tavern clap for the Children of Mayhem. Jolene smiles and says to the five of them, “They are happy as can because the half-elf was the worst farmer known to ever be known.” 

“I should heal myself and Valkor.” Feather casts a spell to heal himself. Then he walks over to Valkor and hovers a hand over his head. Feather smiles at the half-elf half-dragon being before him. So dreamy. 

Spiffy clears her throat, “Yo, Feather, wanna get that guys’ toe?” 

“Sure! We only have a bandit demon toe. Now we’ll have a farmers toe!” Feather beams and accidentally places his hand on Valkor’s forehead. 

Valkor chuckles, “What is with you guys and toes?” He doesn't sit up, the cold hand on his forehead feels too great. 

Spiffy grins, “Man, toes are cool.” 

“Yeah, but not as cool as those rubies I gave to you, Valkor,” Feather pouts and retracts his hand, “and you lost them.”

Valkor grabs back Feathers hand and puts it back on his forehead. He looks to his right to see a red blushing Feather. He raises an eyebrow, “What?”

Feather blushes even more, “N-Nothing.”

Sen interrupts the moment, “Hey there, _ lovebirds. _ Let's cut that guy’s toe and find that rare fish.” 

Spiffy shouts, “Sounds great!” 

Feather and Valkor shout, “We’re not lovebirds!”

Feather mumbles under his breath, “He doesn't even like me like that.” 

Valkor sighs and removes Feather’s hand from his forehead. He gets up and goes the bar, admiring the work of his friends, _ Can't wait to tell Mom about that. _

Feather looks at his own hand and thinks. _ Well, I guess I'm okay with that. Even though it hurts to see him flirt with ladies and gamble with them. Then lose his money. _

Sen taps Feather’s shoulder. Then she notices a tug in her mind and Sen frowns, _ Looks like the obnoxious Nes wants her body back _. Nes blinks a few times and grins, “Hey Feather, don't be so gloomy!” She looks around and notices the dead guy, she points at that guy, “Who finished him off?” 

Feather grins, “Well, you threw a bucket at him and the rats finished him off.”

Both Feather and Nes shudder. It’s a whole different thing getting eaten to death by rats. 

Feather blurts out, “Totally random, but could you imagine what would happen if I shapeshifted into a rat?” 

Nes thinks about it, “You would be screaming in rat language to Jules, ‘Don’t eat me. Don’t eat me.’ That would be awful.” She shudders again and offers Feather a hand. “You gonna get that toe?”

“Yes! A farmer’s toe!” Feather grins.

The gang never did find out what the rare fish they were to find in the cave looked like. Ansley had already left by the time the fight broke out. 

* * *

The cave near Cassomir

The Children of Mayhem have hit an all time low of boredom. Not a single fish has bitten the line. Feather and Valkor are itching for some action. 

Feather gets up from his seat, “I’ve had enough! I’m searching the cave for something cool!” Valkor who had _ definitely _not been sleeping sits up, “Let’s go!” 

Feather grins, “Great, who else wants to go?” Jules chitters and hops onto Feather’s head. Feather giggles, “Of course you can go, Jules, but don’t sit on my head! I don’t want owl poop in my hair!” She doesn’t care one bit and sits on his head proudly, _ “Hoo hoo hoo hooooooo.”(I do what I waaaant.) _Feather groans, “I don’t like that tone.” 

Nes takes her fishing net out of the pond and laughs, “How do you understand her when you’re not in animal form, Feather?”

Feather tries to grab the owl on his head and she moves out of the way of his grabby hands, “Well, I only use the ‘speak to animal’ spell when it’s necessary. So right now, I don’t have a clue what she’s saying.”

“Ah, I get it. Cool ability though.” Nes puts her fishing net back in the pond. To her dismay, no surrounding fish want to take part in it. 

Once again, Feather tries to grab the owl and alas he does capture her. He places her on his shoulder, “Aha! I win!” Jules nips his ear as retaliation. “Oooouch, Jules!”

The twinkling light on the pond draws in Feather’s attention, he stares longingly into the pond. It looks big enough for five wild personalities to swim in. _ Oooh, the pond. I want to swim. No, I must swim. _Valkor notices Feather’s expression and frowns, “Hey, Feather… That’s not a good idea.” Feather is too engrossed in the sight of the pond to realize that he’s now taking off his animal hide shirt. 

Spiffy cocks her head to the side, “What is this, Feather? What are you doing?”

Feather has taken off his shirt and is now struggling to take off his black trousers. Nes sighs, “Feather, now's not the time to go for a swim nude. No one, I mean it, NO ONE wants to see a halfling’s dick. Not even Valkor.” Valkor chokes on his spit. 

Feather doesn’t even know what he is doing, he can hear his friends talking to him, but he doesn’t understand. Why does he want to take off his clothes? Who knows! It’s a time to be alive!

Feather’s trousers are too difficult to remove for his halfling hands. He growls, “S-stupid pants!” 

Nes gets up and grabs ahold of the half-naked halfling. He breaks free from her grasp and jumps into the pond. He doesn’t come back up for air._ Oh shit. Oh shit. _Nes thinks. Nes sneezes and becomes her sinister ego, Sen. Sen chuckles darkly and the remaining Children of Mayhem look at her with shocked expressions.

Helen chuckles nervously, “Uh, Nes, you’re creepy.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Who wants to go into the pond next?” Sen is not as patient as Nes is and certainly doesn’t care about these annoying five children. 

Helen volunteers, “I’ll go first…” She walks into the water. Nothing happens. “Huh. That’s weird.” She sits on the pond’s edge and leaves her legs dangling in the water. Occasionally, she feels fish nibble at her toes. 

Sen chuckles again and walks into the pond, nothing. What is wrong with this pond?

Valkor suggests, “Maybe if we jump in it’ll work?” 

Spiffy and Valkor jump in. The pond’s water rises to the top of the cave. There’s the rare fish they’ve been looking for!

Nes screams, “Gah! Get out of the pond! Let's not swim in ponds.” She rushes to get out of the pond. The others soon follow, when they’re out of the water, they see copies of themselves going to a large ship.

Nes yells, “Nice going, Valkor!”

Valkor yells back, “No, it was your fault, Nes! You’re the one who said it would be a great idea!”

* * *

Feather’s whereabouts.

Feather is laying on his back looking into the dark void. It feels as if time has stopped. He can hear the sounds of the ocean, a violin and laughter. There’s a salty breeze in the air. Usually, he should get upset and try to get out, but all he can do is think. _ The pond really was a lie. Maybe it was just a mirage. This is Ansley’s fault, right? Telling us to go find a stupid rare fish. Ugh! _He smacks the “ground” with his right arm.

_ Kreeeen _

The ground opens up. Feather and Jules are falling at a very fast speed. Feather has no choice, but fear the worst. _ Wait, why did it sound like a door opening?! What is going on? I should be worried about the floor caving in. Feather, you’re falling. Worry about that. Oh no. Oh no. _ Feather holds Jules to his chest, he wouldn’t want his dear owl to perish. “Jules, we’re going to fucking die! I’m too young for this.”

_ Smack. _

He hit a hard surface with his back. He barely manages to sputter out, “SHIT! OWWWWWW.” before he blacks out and loosens his grip on Jules.

* * *

Zoro’s POV

He was enjoying his sake near the mikan trees when he heard screaming. It sounded like it was far away then it got closer, then it finally stopped. Whatever it was finally gave up, probably died.

_ Smack _

The thing that landed on the ship sputtered out, “SHIT! OWWWWWW.”

Zoro immediately got up, placed his sake bottle down where he was sitting. Then he unsheathed his sword unsure if this thing was an enemy. He carefully walked onto the deck, making sure not to alarm the ‘enemy’ 

The thing that landed on the deck seemed harmless. What Zoro could see was a small person, short red hair, a scar on their right eye and pointy ears. The person was wearing an animal hide shirt and black shorts. 

He took a couple steps forward. 

Next to the person, an owl shrieked warning him not to come any closer, _ “Reeee Reeee Reeee Reee.” _ ( _ Take one more step, I dare you.) _

Zoro took one step forward and stopped in front of the owl. The owl shrieks again, ready to claw his one remaining eye out. Then the owl hops onto the person’s stomach and shrieks again.

Zoro sheathed his sword, tired of intimidating an owl obviously protected their owner. He calmed his features, “Oi, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you. Let me look at the kid.” Zoro carefully knelt down in front of the owl and the person.

The owl stopped shrieking and calmly hooted. “Hoo hoo.” (_ Okay fine. _) The owl flew onto Zoro’s right shoulder not wanting to get in the way of Zoro.

Zoro tried not to scream and blushed, “Oi!”

The owl softly hooted in his ear, “Hoo hoo.” (_ Shut up.) _

Zoro batted the owl’s face away from his ear and inspected the person. From what he could tell, with little medical knowledge, the child had a broken arm. He looked at the owl, “Can I pick them up?”

The owl hooted, “Hoo.” (_ Yes.) _

Zoro carefully picked up the perm and carried them to the infirmary, through the galley. On the way there, Sanji called to him, “Oi Zoro, who’s she?”

Zoro ignored the cook, he had better things to attend to. Unfortunately, the small person was a handful. He stood outside the infirmary and turned to look at the cook, “Uh, a kid and the kid’s owl.”

Sanji’s eye widened, “What? We’re in the middle of the sea! I must be dreaming. Where did you find a cute lady?!”

Zoro rolled his eye, “Yeah, yeah. Well, I need to get the kid to Chopper. Can you open the door for me?”

Sanji rushed to the door and opened it. Chopper and Robin were sitting on the infirmary’s bed reading medical books. Chopper gasped, “Zoro! Who’s that?! He’s hurt.” He looked at the owl on Zoro’s shoulder, “An owl too!” 

The owl hooted, “Hoo hoo hoo.” (_ Hello. My name is Jules.) _

Chopper hopped down from the bed and transformed into human point and offered his hand to Jules, “Hi Jules, I’m Tony Tony Chopper.”

Jules flew and landed on Chopper’s wrist, then hooted, _ “Please help, Feather.” _

“Her name is Feather? What a cute name!” Sanji noodles his way to the kitchen to prepare a gourmet meal for who he thinks is a woman. 

Upon him leaving, Robin cleared her throat, “Doctor-san, do you need any assistance with your new patient?”

Jules flew from Chopper’s wrist back to her spot on Zoro’s right shoulder. Zoro jumped a little, “Oi!”

Chopper hums, “Yes.”

* * *

Several hours later. (Feather’s POV)

Feather hears the sound of chittering from what sounds like a bird. There’s another voice, younger high-pitched voice possibly could be another halfling or a gnome. He can’t tell because his damn eyes won’t open.

He tries to open his eyes again, he blinks a little. He sees wood panels, and hears the waves hitting something. _ A ship? _He gasps and checks all of his arms frantically. 

He turns his head and sees a deer with a blue nose sitting in a chair and Jules sitting on a chest.

The deer notices he’s awake and smiles at him, “Oh you’re awake!” Feather doesn’t understand what the deer is saying and raises an eyebrow. He’s too tired to cast a ‘speak to animals’ spell. He speaks in Druidic, “Where am I? Who are you? Why? WHO? WHEN? WHERE? HOW?”

The deer looks at him confused, “Huh?” 

_ Oh no, we don’t know the same language! _Feather rubs his forehead.

The deer puts a hoof on him, “Oi, stop that!”

Feather blinks, and realizes that the deer is speaking Common, without him needing to cast a spell. _ Wait, WHAT? _ He stops rubbing his forehead and sits up, he speaks in Common this time, “S-sorry, very sorry!”

The deer giggles, “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

Jules hoots, “Hoo hoo hoo.” (_ I was worried!) _

The deer translates, “She said she was worried about you!” 

Feather softly smiles, “I’m sorry for worrying you, Jules. Wait a minute! How did you survive the fall?!” 

Jules hoots a reply, “Hoo Hoo.”

The deer translates again, “She says that you held onto her.” 

Feather is getting tired of the deer translating, “So, what’s your name? Are you a deer or a reindeer?”

“My name is Tony Tony Chopper and I’m a reindeer!” Chopper says excitedly.

Feather’s eyes widen, “Whoa, this is my first time seeing a reindeer! Wait! How can you speak! I haven’t even casted a spell.”

“A spell? Haha, um, I ate the Hito-Hito no mi.”

“What the hell is that?”

“Uh, power filled fruits.. Uh…” 

“Oh okay…” Feather still doesn’t understand what the hell that is. He lifts up his right arm and notices bandages. _ Why didn’t he just cast a spell? _He looks at Chopper, “I know you took the time to wrap my arm. Would you mind if I cast a spell to heal myself?”

Chopper looks confused for a second then smiles, “No, not at all. Go ahead.”

Feather casts ‘cure light wounds’ and unwraps the bandages from his arm. “Thank you, Chopper, for taking care of me and my owl Jules. You’re the best.”

“Oh stop it. I don’t take compliments from humans.” Chopper wiggles happily.

Feather frowns and checks his ears, still pointy. “Hey! I’m not a human!”

“Huh? Then what are you?” Chopper stops dancing. 

Feather shouts, “I am a halfling!” Feather starts to cry. 

Chopper pats Feather’s head, “Hey, hey, don’t cry. It’s okay.”

Feather sobs, “Lots of people pick on us b-because we’re small. I am not weak! Thank you very much.”

“I’m small too. I’m 90 centimeters in this form.”

Feather stops sobbing, “You have multiple forms?”

“Yeah.” Chopper demonstrates by changing into his human form. Then changes back to his hybrid form. 

“Whoa. Uh, I’m 91.44 centimeters all the time.”

“You’re an inch taller than me!”

“Woohoo!” Feather laughs and looks at Jules; she’s sitting on the chest. Beside her is Feather’s brown bag. “Wait, I don’t remember bringing that.” He then looks down at his chest, he’s wearing a large blue shirt that is not his.... “Or having a shirt on… I took it off when I was going into the pond.” 

“Wait… You went into a pond? I thought Zoro said you fell onto the ship.”

“Uh, yeah… I jumped into a pond in Cassomir, then I ended up going to two different universes then ended up in the void and punched the floor and fell down here.” He pauses to catch his breath, “In one of the universes, I opened the door to a women’s bathhouse. You should have seen the faces of the ladies when I interrupted their bath. They yelled about something named Naruto setting me up.” He scratches his head, “Then the second universe, I ended up in this white sandy place and was attacked by monsters.”

Chopper raises his eyebrows, “Wow, you’ve been places!” He grins and remembers something, “Come on, let’s meet the rest of my crew.”

“Oh okay.” Feather is a little scared to meet the rest of Chopper’s crew, he did fall onto their ship unwelcome. Chopper guides Feather out of the infirmary, carries his bag and Jules perches on Feather’s shoulder. 

When Feather enters the dining room, which is packed with Chopper’s crew members, he’s greeted by a tall skeleton that has an afro wearing a tophat and clothes, “Hello, I’m Brook.” Feather screams and tries to cast a spell for undead beings, but he can’t remember what the spell is. So he lays on the floor pretending to be dead and Jules joins him. _ Maybe he’ll leave me alone. I hope… _

A tall man with blond hair wearing strange black clothes kicks the skeleton, “Brook, you scared my dear flower!” Feather thinks, _ Flower? My name is Feather. _ Brook falls over, he says, “Sanjiiii-san.” and the man offers Feather his hand. “My dear lovely lady, did he scare you?”  
_ Wait a minute. Does he… _Feather thinks and takes Sanji’s hand. Sanji kisses his hand, “My dear flower, how are you feeling? A woman shouldn’t be on a ship with pirates she doesn’t know.”

_ This bastard does. He thinks I’m a woman. Damn it. _Feather thinks. He pulls his arm back, “Sir, I am a man.” Sanji straightens up and Feather takes the opportunity to punch the man in the shin. Feather feels a sharp pain in his hand, “Shit. Your knees are made of metal.”

Sanji walks away unaffected by a mere punch and unamused, “No, there’s another guy to punch in the knees for saving you. You ungrateful bastard.”

“He-Hey! I woke up after being unconscious for so many hours just to have a man misgender me.” Feather shouts and he’s not done yet, “You’re a hot guy, very hot,” Feather looks away and blushes, then points at Sanji, “But, you dude, need to ask people before you go and assume genders.”

Sanji ponders for a bit and hums, “Sorry…” 

Brook nervously laughs and gets up from the floor, “Yohohohoho. Sanji-san, even I could tell that he’s a man.”

Chopper taps Feather’s shoulder and whispers into his ear, “Let’s go sit down and eat.” 

“Ooh, I think I have bread rolls and unlimited cheese in my bag.”

A boy wearing a straw hat jumps up and stretches his arm, “UNLIMITED CHEESE?!”

Feather stares at the stretched arm with wide eyes, “Yes, I think… so” The stretched arm wraps around Feather. “This is not how you get cheese.” He shouts, “HELP. Just look in my bag.” Chopper looks in his bag, he only sees bread rolls, a wine bottle, a water bucket, rope, a weird box mirror, notes that look like love notes. He frowns, “There’s no unlimited cheese.”

Feather cries, “WHAT?! My cheese, it’s gone.” Chopper notices another note, “Wait, there’s a note.”

Feather breaks free from the stretched arm, “Wait, those are love notes. Don’t read those, please.”

Chopper picks up a note and begins to read it out loud, “Dear Feather, Valkor took your cheese. Very sorry about that. Not. Love, The other Children of Mayhem.” 

Feather folds his arms and pouts, “Tch, Valkor. Taking my unlimited cheese and leaving the love notes unread.” He chuckles and pets Jules’s head. Feather’s stomach growls loudly.

Sanji smiles and holds out a plate to Feather, “Here, I made you a gourmet meal.”

“It’s not poisoned, is it?”

Sanji frowns and shakes his head, “No, why would I poison perfectly good food?” 

“I don’t know… Maybe poison it to sleep with someone you thought was a woman?” Feather holds the plate and his stomach growls again.

“Gosh, we’re pirates, but I would not stoop that low.” Sanji shakes his head again. 

Feather takes a seat at the table, he’s sitting next to a large fishman on his right, a lady with long beautiful hair to his left with little clothing for his liking, and a green haired man with a scar on his eye in front of him.

“Hello everyone, I’m Feather Pepper and this is my owl, Jules.”

“Hello, Feather. You have cool looking ears.” The woman to his left says.

Feather blushes, “Thanks…”

The green haired man says, “Hi Feather, I’m Zoro.”

The fishman to Feather’s right smiles and sips his own tea, “I’m Jinbe.”

Feather grins and digs into his meal, a tasty bowl of rice and shrimp. He finishes his dinner and looks around the table, “Who saved me?”

“Zoro saved you and let you stay here free of charge.” Nami chuckles and the green haired man growls.

Feather looks at the green haired man, he reminds him of Valkor in a way, “Thanks for saving me… Zoro.”

“No problem.” Zoro brushes it off and takes a sip of his drink. 

Feather stands up on his chair and grabs Zoro’s bottle and drinks it. He doesn’t recognize the alcohol, but it tastes great nonetheless. Zoro scoffs and the table around them goes silent. Feather gives Zoro back his drink, “Nice taste, what is it?”

Zoro chuckles, “Whiskey, I bought it at the last island. It was supposed to last till the next island.”

“OOh ooh! I want to drink with you.” Feather jumps up and down, he falls out of the chair onto his butt. 

“Haha, okay.”

* * *

Five bottles of rum later

Feather is beyond drunk right now. Zoro doesn’t even feel tipsy. Should a kid his size drink this much? 

“Zoroooo.” Feather slurs.

“Yeah?” 

“You remind me of my friend, the one I have a massive crush on.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeeeeeah.. He’s strong, handsome, and uses a sword. I have to save him all of the time. He’s strong, but would do the dumbest things just to save my friends and I.”

“Hmm.” Zoro smiles. A guy who isn’t afraid to help his friends in need is an admirable man. 

“But… I love him. I love him a looooot. And he doesn’t love me back. I know I should move on, but I can’t.”

Zoro frowns, he also knows how that feels, but his situation seems different from Feather’s, “Yeah?”

“He loves ladies, money and gambling.”

Zoro’s frown deepens, “I’m sorry.” 

Feather rolls onto the floor and sobs then starts laughing.

Zoro raises an eyebrow, “Why are you laughing?” 

Feather stops laughing and rolls to lay on his back, “Hmm, oh. I thought about how people think I want to get into Valkor’s pants.”

“What’s so funny about that?” 

“Well, it’s simply not true. I don’t want to have sex with Valkor. All I want to do is hold his hand, braid his hair, be there to hold him when he cries. Really, that’s all I want. Plus… He’s really freaking tall. And a half-elf and half-dragon. What if he turns into a dragon half way through? I’d die.”

Zoro shakes his head and erases the image that came through his mind. What if Feather told the cook about this?

_ Zoro’s daydream: _

_ Feather walks into the galley and asks Sanji for advice, the cook tries to help with the worst advice possible. _

_ Then Feather tears up and explains everything to Sanji. _

_ Sanji gets angry and kicks Feather out the galley door. _

Feather sits up from the floor and looks at the green haired man. “So, Zorpo, why aren’t you wondering why I’m not disturbed by the color of your hair?” He gets up and wobbles over to Zoro, “Is it soft?” He answers his own question by rubbing Zoro’s hair, “Soft as hell o.” 

Zoro drools a little, “I dunno, don’t care. My hair is cool regardless of how anyone feels about it.”

“Well, my friends all have abnormal hair colors. Purple. Uh… yeah that’s all I remember.” Feather massages Zoro’s head, earning him a moan.

Zoro wipes the drool on the corner of his mouth and hides the bulge in his pants, “Hey, Feather… I’m going to go now.”

Feather pouts, “Oh okay. Bye drinking buddy.”

“Haha, bye, terrible drinking buddy. You’re not supposed to get drunk!” He heads out of the aquarium in the direction of a certain blond cook.

Feather laughs, “Oh wow, looook at him go. Off to get some. Damn, Sanji is lucky. Not the banging part but the fact that they both love each other.” Feather sobers up and takes a nap on the aquarium room floor.

* * *

Morning time

The disheveled cook walks into the aquarium, “Oi, Feather.”

Feather grunts still not wanting his dream to end, “Hmm?”

Sanji kicks Feather’s side gently, “Wake up.”

Feather blinks and sees a blob of green and yellow, “What you want, green monster?”

The green blob ignores that, “There’s a strange group here to see you.”

“Uh, okay. Give me a describtion.” Feather rubs his eyes and notices the green blob was actually Sanji wearing Zoro’s clothes. He smiles then frowns.

“Guy with a huge white beard and three lovely beauties.”

“Am I asleep?”

“No dumbass, you’re not. I just kicked you awake.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah I’m sure. Would you like me to send you into the ocean?”

“No, no. please no.”

Zoro walks into the aquarium room wearing only black trousers, he is a tan man, with a long scar from his shoulder to his hip. Amazing. Feather drools a little. “Oi, Oi, stop staring at me like that. Valkor is outside. They threatened to burn down the ship if you didn’t return to them. They think we’re holding you captive.”

“It’s not my fault…” Feather rubs his eyes again, “Okay maybe it is.” he laughs and gets up from the floor. “Uh, wait, wait, someone hold my hand just in case they aren’t my friends. Well even if they were, I still want to hold a hand. Because I’m afraid. And don't give me shit about it, there's nothing wrong with holding someone’s hand!” Feather takes a deep breath and exhales, “Sorry, I don't want you to think I'm weak.”

Zoro offers his hand to Feather, “Don’t worry, Feather, shit happens. Usopp understands perfectly how you feel. Come on, let’s go.” Feather gladly accepts it. 

Outside on the deck, four people who seem to be his friends are standing in a circle whispering to each other. Luffy, Usopp and Chopper are by the figurehead watching the group suspiciously. Luffy must have told them not to do anything rash. Jinbe, Nami and Robin are sunbathing. Brook is playing what Feather thinks is horror music; Helen is the bard not him. The music only manages to amplify the paranoia in the halfling. 

Feather’s hand tightens on Zoro’s hand, Zoro squeezes back as a push of courage. 

The group disperses and ‘Spiffy’ walks up to Feather, he feels as if something is off, but he can't figure out what it is. Spiffy raises her hand and swings her hand back. This gives Feather enough time to look at Zoro and confirm that Feather should be the one to beat up his friend, even if the gnome gets on his nerves. He gives Zoro one last squeeze and gets prepared for the gnome and halfling war.

Spiffy speeds up the movement of her arm. Feather blocks the attack and holds onto the gnome’s fist, he breathes heavily and growls, “Spiffy, w-why are you doing this?” 

Spiffy speaks in a language Feather doesn't know, he guesses it’s draconic. She did say she liked dragons once, if he remembered correctly. 

She gives up trying to fight Feather and flops onto the deck next to where Nes is standing. 

Feather raises an eyebrow, “Huh?” 

Helen takes a step forward and raises her leg to kick Feather, but as she was five inches close to his face, a loud crack resounds. She falls over and lays on Spiffy. Valkor sits down and folds his arms behind his head then yawns. 

Feather whispers to Zoro while looking straight ahead at the fools, “These aren't my friends.” He doesn’t turn his head because Zoro's crotch is right there. “But, I can see if there's magic at play here. If they're not friendly innocent people, then you, Sanji, and me can team up.”

After many failed attempts of trying to detect magic, Feather groans and lies on his back, “Zoro, how about we team up?” Feather snickers. Zoro also lies next to him and Feather whispers a plan in his ear. Zoro raises an eyebrow and Feather laughs. 

The swordsman and the halfling sit up. Zoro kneels and Feather climbs the swordsman’s torso, then sits on Zoro’s right shoulder. He stands up straight then one of Robin’s hands grabs Feather’s staff on the deck and hands it to the halfling.

The other Straw Hats giggle at the sight; a small halfling climbing their tan blushy swordsman. Zoro growls, “Shut up.”

“Okay, Mr. Swordsbabe, let’s kick their asses.” 

“Don’t call me that!” he whispers to Feather.

Feather doesn’t care, “Mr. Swordsbabe, shut up. Let’s go.” Feather rubs Zoro's hair with his hand, somehow doesn’t lose his balance. _ Who knew that the way to tame the green haired swordsman was to massage his head? _

Zoro unsheathes two of his swords and walks towards Fake Nes; Valkor stands up. Nes readies herself, but she isn't prepared for his two swords hitting her in a perfect X. She wails and water spurts out of the wound. Helen uses this moment as a chance to get up from her body pillow, Spiffy.

Zoro stares at the water gushing out of her wound and thinks, _ A Devil Fruit user? _

The halfling on his shoulder thinks,_ What the hell is this? _ Feather is very confused and that does have an effect on his performance. He swings for her head and misses. _ Damn it. _

Fake Nes, who is indeed still watering the deck, kneels down, puts her hands on Zoro’s thighs and depants him. Zoro’s boxers today are swords and pandas. An unmarked pirate ship passes by and a man with a panda head waves at Zoro. 

Brook laughs, “Yohohohoho! Zoro-san!”

Feather thinks, _ Oh no, hang in there, Zoro! _“You wouldn't let a lousy trick defeat you.” he looks down, “Nice braie ya got there.” 

“What the hell? They're called boxers!”

“Oh, okay.” 

Spiffy takes her time getting up. Valkor unsheathes his sword and aims for Feather’s right arm. The sword scratches his shoulder, Feather lets out a gasp of pain. He can't tell what hurts more that Fake Valkor tried to kill him or the pain from his wound. 

Zoro checks on his new friend, “You good?”

Feather bites his bottom lip and silently sobs, “Yeah. I think so.”

Zoro smiles, “Good.” He swings _ Sandai Kitetsu _ at Valkor with his left arm and misses. Luckily, he has another sword in his right hand _ Shusui _ . He swings _ Shusui _ and successfully disarms Valkor, he gulps. 

Helen takes a step forward and throws purple kite at Feather!

“Who brings a kite to a swordfight?” Zoro growls.

Feather laughs, “Hehehe! Kite fight. That rhy- oomf”

Oh no! He’s entangled in the kite’s string and falls back onto the deck. He struggles to take the strings off and is now free.

“Feather, you’re forgetting your owl! She wants to fight!” Chopper shouts.

Feather sighs and remains still, “Every damn time. I always forget! Here goes nothing, Jules, I order you to claw Nes’s face! Please?”

Jules doesn’t listen to Feather’s command, instead she flies then lands on the crow’s nest roof and poses proudly. Feather groans and shouts at the owl, “No more rats for you then!”

Jules looks at Feather and shrieks, “Raaaaaaa!”

Chopper translates, “You wouldn't.”

Feather laughs then smiles, “You’re right.” He looks at Zoro’s ankle, “Zoro, your trousers! You forgot to pull them up!”

Zoro shrugs, “I’ll get to it eventually.” 

Nes flails her arms in an attempt to scratch Zoro’s leg, but misses.

Spiffy chants in her weird language and fails to summon the Savant, instead she summons an ant and it dies. 

Valkor walks five feet to the area by the figurehead and picks up his sword. Doing so allows Zoro an opportunity to swing _ Shusui _and slice from Valkor’s left eye to his jaw. He howls in pain and water gushes out. 

“Nitoryu.” Zoro swings both _Sandai Kitesu _and_ Shusui _successfully slicing Valkor’s chest in an X. Valkor isn’t looking too good.

Helen tries to throw a compact spell book at Feather and misses. Feather swings her staff around and misses Helen. She calls to Jules, “Jules, claw Helen’s eyes. Please.”

Jules shrieks then swoops down and claws out Helen’s eyes. Water spurts everywhere. Nes throws a Courtesan’s outfit at Feather. _ What the hell? Where are they getting this stuff? _Feather thinks.

Spiffy succeeds on summoning the Savant, except there’s a twist… It’s Spandam. Uh-oh! All of the Straw Hats are now involved in this fight. Franky radical beams Spandam and he explodes into water, “Whew. That was a close one.” 

Robin attaches her devil-fruit arms to both Helen and Nes and says, “Seis Fleur: Twist.” Nes is barely affected by it, but Helen on the other hand is writhing in pain.

Luffy screams, “Gomu gomu no pistol!” Fake Valkor explodes into water. Nami throws a weather egg in the air, a black cloud appears over Spiffy, “Thunder Breed Tempo!” A lightning bolt strikes Spiffy, she’s only burnt by it. Jinbe hits the air and send a shockwave to Spiffy, she is greatly affected by it and is barely hanging on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feather went to Naruto and Hueco Mundo in Bleach.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	2. A Feather’s Paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh. This is the first time I've written smut. 
> 
> This was written with one question in mind, "What if Feather Pepper came in through the bathroom?"

The sun has risen on the small base Feather set up last night; a bed roll, a fire pit, and Feather’s bag. Sounds of birds chirping and a certain great horned owl’s chitters can be heard in the forest. Feather loves this time of day because he can take the time to meditate and recharge his spells. His owl Jules rests on his left shoulder. Rustling leaves to his right disturb his meditation, he casts the ‘speak with animals’ spell and asks, “W-Who goes there?” 

A deep unfamiliar voice replies, “Doesn’t matter, you’re here on my land!” 

Feather laughs nervously, “Hahaha. No I’m not. This is the goddesses's land.”

The voice walks out of the shrubs, he’s a tall half-elf wearing black colored noble clothing, “So what, she ain't here!”

Feather holds up his hands in defense, “Okay okay, please calm down.” 

“I am gonna have to ask you to leave. Go on! Get!” he orders Feather. 

Feather nods and packs up his belongings in his backpack, “I will leave.”

The man smiles, “Would ya like to go anywhere?”

“Uh, yes?” Feather is unsure if that's a good idea, but it seems to be too late. The man is setting up a portal for Feather, “Plane Shift.” The portal is all set up for Feather to go inside. _ This is a terrible idea! _Feather thinks as he walks through the blue silky screen of the portal. He’s starting to feel nauseous. 

_ Shwoop. Ding. _

He walked through the portal into a damn bathroom. _ Oh no. _Feather looks around and hears moaning. He shakes his head trying to stop the nausea and blurriness in his eyesight caused by the portal. 

He sits down for a second and his eyesight returns to normal, but the nausea remains. He gets a sight of his surroundings and of the two very much naked men in the bath. He gasps and blushes. _ Oh no, I need to get out of here! What if they heard the portal? _ He’s panicking to point where he can’t hear. 

Feather’s little heart can't handle the panic rising in him, he falls back and hits the door with his head. Then he passes out. 

Little does he know that the two lovers did indeed noticed him. 

\------

Thousand Sunny’s bathroom (minutes before Feather showed up)

Sanji and Zoro have been waiting for a week now to get some alone time together. Zoro was going a little crazy too. Every chance they got, the marines would show up. Being cock blocked by the marines is awful! If someone other than the marines interrupts them, then they’re in for a show.

Sanji leans against the side of the tub and contently sighs. Zoro kisses his hands, his wrist and trails all the way down to Sanji’s thighs. He likes to tease the cook. Sanji growls, begging for it, “Zoro! Do it already.” 

Zoro smirks and leans down to give the tip of Sanji’s dick a teasing lick. Sanji frowns. Zoro holds back a chuckle then envelopes Sanji’s dick down to his shaft with his tongue. He bobs his head up and down. 

A weird noise happens behind Zoro’s back, _ Schwoop. Ding. _Sanji has his eyes closed and whispers, “W-what’s -mmm- that?” 

Zoro talks from around Sanji’s penis, “I don't know.” He stops for a second. 

Sanji groans, “Keep going. Don’t stop.” 

Zoro continues on for a while and finishes him off, he can feel Sanji’s close. Sanji moans and releases his load in Zoro’s mouth.

Zoro swallows it and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

Sanji sits there for a few seconds with his eyes closed, coming off from his high. 

Zoro hears the noise, _ Fwump _behind him and turns to see what the source of the noise is. Sanji opens his eyes and gasps. There’s a small kid in the bathroom. 

Zoro leans over the side of the bathtub to see more of the person. He squints, the ‘kid’ is definitely out cold. There's also a fucking passed out owl too!

Sanji sighs, “So, we have a voyeur on this ship. Is he dead?” He looks at the kid for a bit, then closes his eyes. 

“No, looks like he just hit his head.”

Sanji opens his eyes wide, sees an owl, “What the fuck is an owl doing here?!” The owl doesn’t wake up. 

“Must be the kid’s.” Zoro shrugs.

“What do we do, Zoro?” Sanji jumps up and walks out of the tub in search of a towel. Zoro unplugs the drain, follows him and wraps himself then sits on the steps to the bath. 

“Uh, pick him up, then when he wakes up interrogate him.”

“No, no, that's too harsh!” Sanji wraps a green towel around himself. He sighs, “Feed him, then we question him.” 

“Alright then. Even though I said the same thing.” 

Sanji laughs and walks over to the kid. On closer inspection, the kid actually looks like an adult, perhaps younger by a few years. He's wearing an animal print shirt- probably skinned the animal himself- black pants and tiny adorable purple shoes. The man is… short and has pointy ears, reminds him of a tontatta from Dressrosa. 

Zoro hugs Sanji from behind and looks over his shoulder, “He’s got red hair and a scar on his right eye.” 

“Wonder how he got that one.”

“Swordfight with pirates?”

“Maybe.”

Zoro stops hugging Sanjj, walks to the small man then picks him up. He holds him up for a bit to inspect him. The small man looks like he hasn't eaten a decent meal in days. Luckily, he’s on the best pirate crew with the greatest chef… But don’t tell Sanji that. 

Zoro cradles the little man and smiles then frowns. He waits for a teasing from Sanji but it never comes. Sanji sees the brute musclehead cradle the poor guy and doesn't say a word. There's nothing to be said. 

Sanji picks up the small man’s belongings and the owl. They both walk fast to the men’s quarters. 

Once inside the men’s quarters, Sanji sets the owl down on the couch and heads to his locker. Zoro goes to his own locker, and picks his usual, another green robe.

*****

(Feather’s POV)

Feather starts to stir, he inhales a bit, the smell of metal and peppermint hits his nostrils. _ Oh, that’s… interesting. _

He moves his lips around a bit. Whatever is in front of his face freezes. He opens his eyes and realizes that he’s being held by the guy in the bathroom, he yelps and squirms.

The green haired guy seems to notice he’s awake, “Uh, I can explain.” He sets Feather down and changes into his green robe in front of Feather who blushes and looks away _ This guy sure does like green. _

A tall blond fellow comes into Feather’s sight of vision, he puts on weird black clothes with buttons, the man catches him glancing at him, “You’ve never seen a suit before?” 

Feather raises an eyebrow, “A what? Is that this land’s armor?” 

“Unfortunately, no because we’re on a ship.” the man replies.

“Huh?” 

Zoro picks up Feather and cradles him again. Feather panics and tries to flee. He can't get away, “Let go of me!”

“Shhhhh, shhhh.” Zoro changes his hold on Feather and holds him close to his chest. And rocks him back and forth. Zoro successfully calms him down, he smiles at him, “We should get you to our Doctor Chopper.” 

Feather shakes his head, “N-no, no, no that's not n-necessary.” 

The green haired man looks him in the eye with his two _ gorgeous _amber eyes. Feather feels like the guy’s going to eat his soul with the intimidating aura that surrounds him. Feather fizzles and rests his head on the man’s shoulder. He chuckles, “I knew it.” The man walks to more weird places. Jules wakes up, flies and lands on Zoro’s right shoulder, “Oi!”

Feather giggles, “Sorry. It was that or your head.”

The blond tags along. On the way there, they’re stopped by a woman with long black hair wearing a hat, “Who is that, Swordsman-san?” 

“Uh, a guy and an owl that ended up in the bathroom at the _ wrong _time.” he replies and rubs Feather’s back in soothing circles. 

_ His name is Swordsman-san? _Feather thinks.

“Well, I’ll be on my way.” the woman smiles and walks away. 

They've finally arrived at Doctor Chopper’s room. The green-haired man knocks on the door and a high pitched voice says, “Come in!”

The blond man opens the door this time. Swordsman-san sets Feather on the floor, he trips on nothing and becomes a doormat. 

A reindeer walks into view and offers his hoof, “Hey there, I'm Tony Tony Chopper.” 

Feather takes ahold of his hoof, gets up and shakes it, “Wait, you’re speaking Common! I didn't cast a ‘speak with animals’ spell! How is that possible?!” he pauses to take a breath, “I-I’m Feather Pepper.”

“Common? Heehee. I am a talking reindeer! Feather, what a lovely name!” Chopper giggles. Chopper opens the door wider and invites Feather in. 

Feather climbs onto the bed and sits down. Chopper and the two bathroom guys join him and shut the door. Feather clears his throat, “Would you mind if I healed myself with a spell?” 

Chopper looks at him confused, “No, not at all!” _A devil fruit user who calls it magic?_ _Either that or he just thinks he’s cool using those terms. _He thinks.

Feather casts _ cure light wounds _ and touches his head with a green glowing hand; his pounding headache went away.

The green haired guy asks, “Are you a devil fruit user, Feather?” 

“What the hell is that? How how do you know why name?!” Feather jumps a little. 

The green guy chuckles, “You just said your name.” 

Feather chuckles, blushes, and rubs the back of his neck, “Oh…”

Chopper giggles, “Well, a devil fruit is a fruit that holds a power. For example, I was a reindeer and I ate the Human Human fruit.”

Feather understands the concept somewhat. “So, this dimension has magical fruits. Interesting.”

Chopper shakes his head, at least he understood it. “Yeah… Haha. How about we properly introduce ourselves?” 

The green guy smirks and gestures with his thumb towards himself, “I’m Zoro.” He jabbs his thumb at the blond guy, “That’s ero-cook. I can beat him in a fight any day.”

“Oi! No you can’t!” Sanji presses their foreheads together. Grrrrr. 

Jules flies from Zoro’s shoulder onto Feather’s. He’s disturbed by their way of expressing love and pets Jules’s head. Chopper notices Feather’s discomfort and steps in to stop the fools, he transforms into a… human. _ That is really cool. _Feather thinks and his eyes twinkle. Chopper shouts, “Stop it, you two! You’re scaring Feather.” 

Their ‘anger’ dissipates. The blond guy looks at Feather and smiles, “I’m Sanji.” he rummages in his strange clothes, suit, and pulls out a match and a white stick. He lights it, smoke fills the air and Feather coughs. 

“W-What is that thing?” Feather covers his nose and thinks, _ Whatever that damn thing is, it’s disgusting. _

Sanji frowns, “Do you live under a rock, Feather?”

Feather growls and his eyes darken, “No, I do not live under a rock, _ Sanji. _I live in forests.” He cracks his knuckles. 

Sanji takes a step back and gulps. Zoro chuckles, “Ero-cook, you’re intimidated by this little guy?” He looks at Feather, and sees the devil and a hellhound. He pisses himself. 

Feather frowns and flails his arms around, “Shit! I'm so sorry! Do I have any spells to make this any better?” he pulls out a spell book and flips through the pages, “I can cast cure light wounds again, but you’re not physically injured. Your pride might be, though.” Feather mutters. 

“Oi.”

“How about I create water and splash it on you? No, no. That's stupid.” Mutter 

“Oi!” Zoro shouts. 

Feather bristles and almost drops his spell book, “Yeah? I-I’m sorry. Ehehehe. I’m I'm very berry sorry.” He rummages in his backpack and gets out three perfect bread rolls, wrapped neatly and sanitary. He offers his bread, “Would you like some bread rolls to make up for me inconveniencing you?” 

Zoro shakes his head and his hand, “No, Feather, I'm good. Thanks though. Oh and don't worry about it. I can go change.” He walks out of the room to the men’s quarters. 

Feather puts his bread rolls back in his bag and frowns. Sanji smiles, “It’s fine, Feather. Do you want even better bread rolls?” 

Feather’s eyes light up, “Really?! How much gold will I owe you?” 

“Uh…” Sanji thinks for a second, “A trip to the market with Zoro and I.”

“Wait, are you requesting that I pay for your shopping or that I help you by going with you and carrying stuff?”

Sanji grins, “Yes.” 

Feather looks for his small treasure bag, he finds it and counts the gold pieces. He looks up at Sanji with tears streaming down his face, “I only have ninety gold pieces.”

Sanji laughs, “I’m kidding. You'll just be the second pack mule.” 

Feather wipes his tears and puts his treasure bag back in his backpack. He lets out a sigh of relief, “Oh thank goodness. I thought I was going to go broke.” 

Sanji and Chopper shake their heads. Sanji whispers in Chopper's ear, “Should I tell him?” 

Chopper whispers back, “No, Sanji!”

Feather hears bits and pieces of their conversation. _ They’re telling someone about a huge bread roll. Wow, that sounds great. _Feather drools and his stomach growls.

Sanji looks at him and grins, “Would you like some fine dining aboard the Thousand Sunny?”

Feather shoots him a matching grin, “Oooh yes!” 

Sanji, Chopper, Jules and Feather walk to the dining room, well Jules flies. Inside the spacious room, Feather notices that there are eight seats at the table and asks Sanji, “Are you guys the only people living on this ship?” 

Sanji laughs, “Hahaha, no. There are five other members.”

Feather looks around, “Where are they?”

“They’re on the island exploring.”

“What island are we at?”

“We’re at...” 

Zoro pokes his head into the galley, “Cook, booze.” 

_ Cook Booze? What a weird island! _ Feather thinks. _ Nah, that's not the name of it. _

Sanji sighs, “Go get some while I make Feather a meal.” He turns to make Feather’s lunch; bread rolls and a seafood dish.

Zoro walks into the room and takes two bottles, he turns to Feather, “Do you drink, Feather?”

“Yeah. But, I don't have people to drink with.” Feather frowns. 

Zoro chuckles sadly, “Hehehehe. Well, you gained eight friends to drink with.” he hands Feather a beer. 

Feather takes it and sits down at the table. Sanji puts the plate down in front of him and a dessert for Chopper. Drool comes out of Feather and Chopper's mouths and they shout, “Thanks, Sanji!!” He gobbles up his food. 

Sanji smiles, “No problem. When you’re done, we should talk about earlier… alone.” 

_ Alone? Should I leave? They want me to go? _Feather thinks as he eats his last bite, “I’ll be going.” He turns to walk away and gets out of his chair. 

Sanji didn't like him trying to run away. So, he kicks him in the back. Hard. 

Chopper gasps, “Sanji!” 

Zoro gets up from his seat, “Cook!” 

Feather stays put despite the pain, he might have a bruise later, “Alright, two can play at that game!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are appreciated!
> 
> Check out another story involving Feather and One Piece! [A Feather in the Grand Line](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20297605/chapters/48117754)


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